i have been noticing lately how hard women are on each other when it comes to their romantic relationships. it’s okay to have an opinion about who your friend dates. it’s impossible not to feel a certain way about the people your loved ones choose to love, because we want the best for our friends. but we have got to stop judging each other so hard. i have noticed so many of my close friends, myself included, turning our noses up at the people some of our friends have chosen to be with.
we are not kids anymore, and as long as someone isn’t physically harming our friends (or putting them in situations where they end up in harm’s way), it is not our place to stay in their ear, or be nasty about who they choose to date. if our friends want to ride it out with someone who isn’t perfect, then they have a right to do that. and guess what…your dude isn’t perfect either. at the end of the day, no one’s relationship is perfect, and has not been without bumpy patches.
i look at a few of my friends who have what i consider to be good marriages, and before it was sweet, it wasn’t. they broke up, they fought, and dealt with all kinds of things. they have all been in the valley. but there was something that kept them there, and thank God they stayed, because now they have beautiful lives together. as long as you are at peace about the relationship, it’s no one else’s business what you choose to do.
so, i don’t understand why we judge our friends so hard when they are in the valley. none of us has had a relationship that was perfect from start to finish. even though a guy may not be perfect, i think it’s obvious when he cares about our friend. being blatantly disrespectful is something different. but a situation where two people clearly have a connection, but keep getting their lines crossed, is no place for judgment. sometimes it takes time to get into the rhythm of the relationship. also, we don’t always immediately know the purpose of the relationship, and have to learn certain lessons, and the connection needs to evolve into what it’s meant to be. it may be that this person will teach you the patience you will need in your next relationship. or maybe he will have other flaws and the relationship will end, but it will heal you of your distrust of men, which will open you up to receiving an even better relationship.
when you peel back the layers, your dude isn’t acting right, just like your girl’s isn’t, so why do you feel like you can judge her situation?
what is the difference, pray tell? there are things that you have to deal with that she doesn’t, and vice versa. there are things that she could never deal with that are an every day occurrence for you, and vice versa. you choose to hang in there with your dude, just like she chooses to hang in their with hers, so mind your business. we need to start supporting each other more. none of us have all the answers, and we need to step back and let people do them.
as long as we are prayerful and feel like we are on the right path, we should stand tall and do whatever we want with our lives. if you feel like you are listening to the universe, and the flow of your life, and you still end up with this person, and you are happy, then Godspeed. just be supportive and listen, and treat them the way you would want to be treated when going through a tough moment.
we should want our friends to do whatever makes them happy. and if being with booboo’s trifling as* makes her happy, then let her do her, and wish her the best!
you have your own situation to focus on and improve anyway :)
that is all. as you were…
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