we are always so focused on what we need to do to keep a man’s attention, but ladies, do we really think about what a man has to do to keep our attention?
men seem to forget that just like them, women also have options (including the option to be alone, rather than deal with a bunch of bullsh*t). and if you want to stay on top of a real haute mama’s list, there are a few things a man must do. most of them should be obvious to men over 30, but recent experience has taught me that a few reminders are in order:
1. make your home comfortable. when you invite a lady to your home, you want her to stay for as long as possible, right? then please make your surroundings inviting. have ample food and drink to offer. keep some wine in the fridge, have a snack on hand. and clean your freakin bathroom, for goodness sake. and i mean really clean it. it should smell good and there should be no hair on the floor or in the sink. no one wants to see your hair (of any kind) OR the hair of your last guest… o_O. you are not in college. i guarantee you that if you do not offer these very basic things, most grown women will want to leave your spot ASAP.
2. consistent communication. this should be obvious, and it isn’t about control, or a woman being needy. but again, just like men have other women they are communicating with, women have men they are also in communication with. and they all want to _______ just like you do :) if you want to stay in the game, you have to stay on her mind. i don’t love a lot of texting, but a quick note to say you are thinking about her, or asking how her day is going goes a long way. do not play yourself by thinking it’s all about you. she will get scooped up by someone who has recognized how amazing she is before you can blink, boo.
3. proper grooming. i’m not going into detail about this, but if you don’t look neat and smell good, consider yourself forgotten.
4. shut the f*ck up and listen. no one wants someone who only wants to talk about themselves. have some self awareness. it’s wonderful to hear about a man’s accomplishments and what’s going on in his life, but it’s important to be with a man who realizes that he isn’t the only one with a full life, and interesting experiences to share. listening to your lady, and then following up about things you all have discussed (i.e., “how did your meeting go?”, etc.) shows her you care about her life, too. not doing so will get you ignored or sent to voice mail, because we aren’t always in the mood to stroke your ego. shut up and stroke ours sometimes!
5. be dependable. say what you mean and mean what you say. do not be that dude who she doesn’t believe because you have lied to and/or disappointed her so many times before. after a while, you become a joke that she does not take seriously, and she will just start rolling her eyes every time she sees your name pop up on her phone. no one wants to deal with someone who doesn’t follow through. it becomes a waste of time.
6. don’t try too hard to impress. chile. this one is a big deal. a wise woman can sniff out bullsh*t quickly, so prattling on about your “porsche” and your “seven-figure deals” is not fooling anyone. another thing that’s annoying is men who are so contrived when discussing relationships, and seemingly say all the right things. it comes across phony, and you need more people. just be you. if all that stuff is true, it will reveal itself, as actions speak louder than words.
7. be thoughtful. this is personal for me, because i am sensitive. but a man who knows how to treat me, and cares about how his actions will affect my feelings is going to live on my mind, honey. it is so, so important to make a woman feel like you care about her. and the way to do that is through thoughtful action. it doesn’t have to be anything big - picking a restaurant she may enjoy because she mentioned she loves thai food, sending her an article you came across that you think she may find interesting, anything that you know will make her smile. but it needs to be more than talk. actually do something that requires some effort.
gentlemen, follow these rules, and i guarantee you will be able to keep that special lady’s attention.
that is all. as you were…
i’m sure you have something amazing to add. click here to #getinvolved!