what i know: is divorce immature & selfish?
hell to the no!! how could anyone make such a sweeping generalization????
i was taken aback by a huffington post article that references the irresponsible declarations of blogger penelope trunk. specifically, she stated that divorce is:
- “ immature and selfish”
- “nearly always terrible for kids”
- a sign of mental illness (specifically, of borderline personality disorder)
- something that “dumb people” do at higher rates than well-educated ones
huh? really?
initially, i thought to myself, could this possibly be correct? am i being selfish and immature? is there research to support these bold and explosive statements? then i took a deep breath and remembered that penelope trunk doesn’t know sh*t about me, or my situation :) i also remembered that i know that i made the best decision for me and my son to live the happiest, most productive life possible, and i really don’t care what any study, or outside person has to say. after praying about my situation, i am at peace about my decision. I believe that happy parents raise happy kids, and I want to be the best mother possible for my son.
as i read on, it was almost like God was confirming that i made the right decision. i love when the universe mirrors back what you know to be true :) the author of the article, dr. christine carter, acknowledges that divorce is no fun for anyone, but counters trunk’s ridiculous statements with consistent research that determines:
“the worst situation for kids is when unhappily married parents, particularly those in high-conflict marriages, stay together.”
don’t you just love the smell of validation in the morning?
when i first started having issues in my marriage, and i spoke to one of my good girlfriends about it, she emphatically declared that i should not stay for the sake of the kids. her parents took that route, and she said it was no fun. she actually told her mother at 10-years-old that she should divorce her father, but they didn’t do so until about 8 years later. the fact that a child of that age was perceptive and wise enough to know the situation wasn’t working says it all.
so in summation, opinions are like as*holes. although penelope trunk’s opinions could damage fragile women suffering in miserable marriages, she is more than welcome to feel the way she does. however, penelope won’t be there with these poor women when while they cry themselves to sleep every night or refuse to get out of bed because they are so depressed, nor will she help them explain to their kids why mommy and daddy are always mad at each other, and why no one ever seems happy at home.
whenever my son gets sad about not living with his father and brother anymore, i ask him if he remembers when mommy and daddy use to argue and yell a lot. then, ask him if mommy and daddy argue any more, and if we seem happier now, and he always says yes. and because he sees his father and brother every weekend, i remind him that he will see them again in a few days, and they will have a wonderful time together and go do “boy stuff” that his haute mama is not interested in :) and all is well again.
i am not childish enough to think that the divorce will not affect him at all. but, i would much rather take my chances raising my son in a calmer, more peaceful environment.
that is all. as you were…
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